Body Positivity vs. Body Neutrality: How Do We Think About Our Bodies?
Body Positivity vs. Body Neutrality: How Do We Think About Our Bodies?
By Taylor Neal
Our relationship with our bodies is a complex and ever-evolving relationship that grows and fluctuates just as often as we do as we age and navigate the different phases of our lives.
How we think and feel about our bodies affects how we feel about ourselves in general in many ways, as well as how we show up in relationships, and how we engage in sex and intimacy both with ourselves and with our partners. For most of us, our relationship with our bodies is one of the most difficult relationships we ever have, which naturally bleeds out into other areas of our lives.
The way we think about our bodies is influenced by a large, you might say infinite, interrelated number of factors we come up against throughout our lives, from early childhood all the way through to late life. Things such as the culture we live in, the geographical place we live, our families, our relationships, our friends, school, our workplaces, media and social media, politics, sex education, violence, aging, our gender and gendered expectations, and so many other experiences of, and interactions with, the sociocultural climate we find ourselves in, will have great impact on our relationships to our bodies.
No matter how we look, at some point in our lives, we all receive messages from one source or another telling us there’s something wrong with our bodies. The primary reason for this is that hatred of, and/or dissatisfaction with, our bodies is one of the most profitable capitalistic strategies there has ever been.
Convincing us we are not enough; not thin enough, not muscular enough, not white enough, not cis enough, not hairless enough, not smooth enough, not flawless enough, is a multi-billion dollar industry. Even if we reach the place we’ve convinced ourselves we need to get in order to be “enough,” there will always be something else we need to fix about ourselves, another product we need to buy, another fitness membership we need to sign up to, a new diet we have to get on, to keep up with the constantly changing beauty standards used to measure our value.
Keeping beauty standards allusive by continuously redefining what “enough” looks like is capitalism’s way of dangling the carrot and keeping us running, buying, and longing, for the version of ourselves we believe will finally be worthy:
Once I lose the weight I’ll finally meet someone.
Once I get my acne under control it’ll be easier to make friends.
If I could just get rid of my wrinkles they might listen to what I have to say.
I’ll have better sex when I get rid of my cellulite.
I’ll get my dream job if I look the part.
My ex will regret giving me up once they see my new abs.
Regardless of how we may feel, we are not born hating our bodies.
We are not born with our sense of worth and self-satisfaction intrinsically linked to how our bodies look. By contrast, we experience satisfaction as children almost entirely based on what our bodies can do rather than how they look: that feeling when you first make it across the monkey bars, ride a bike, or do a cartwheel, or lick a melty ice-cream cone on a summer day.
Children are happiest when they completely forget about how they look, when they’re covered in sand at the beach with food all over their face and hair blowing in every possible direction - reveling in the joys of what their bodies can do with a complete disregard for how they’re being perceived. The joy, the pleasure, is in what our bodies can do for us, not how closely they align with that day’s arbitrary beauty standards.
As we age however, and we get bombarded with messaging fueled with capitalistic intent and misogyny, preoccupation with how we look slowly, or not so slowly, overrides the joys of what our bodies can do, and we end up striving for anything that will help us return to that place of careless self satisfaction.
While it might feel a little intimidating, and a little unrealistic, to strive for that child-like careless whimsey in relation to our bodies, there are ways we can cultivate more loving, less overpowering, relationships with our bodies as adults.
Over the past couple of decades, there has been several social movements that have aimed to attack the epidemic of people struggling to feel comfortable and confident in their bodies.
The two main approaches to a more loving relationship with one’s body are known as Body Positivity and Body Neutrality. Both of these lenses through which to view our bodies offer opportunity for gratitude toward the body exactly as it is, releasing the pressure to change our bodies in order to feel worthy, and reminders of our inherent worth, apart from the narrow ideals of value and worth given to us by media.
These two perspectives offer opportunity to reflect on our relationships to our bodies. Neither is better, more correct, more logical, or more useful than the other, they both have their times and places, and they can both be used to reframe our thinking about our own bodies and the bodies of others.
As you read through the rest of this article, I’ll invite you to take it in slowly, to notice how you’re feeling in your body as you read about Body Positivity and Body Neutrality, and to consider how both of these perspectives might be useful for you.
One might resonate more than the other, that’s okay, take what feels good for you and leave what doesn’t.
Body Positivity
Body Positivity as a concept refers to the acceptance and love for all bodies of all shapes and sizes, always, exactly as they are, including, and most importantly, our own.
Body positivity tells us to love our bodies exactly as they are, to recognize their beauty at any size, to feel proud of our bodies and the bodies of others, and to minimize the negative ways we talk about, and think about, our own bodies and the bodies of others. We are beautiful as we are, says body positivity.
The origins of Body Positivity as a social movement can be traced back to 1969 with the Fat Acceptance Movement, and can be seen in fluctuations throughout the remainder of the 20th century and into the 21st.
With the rise of social media, Body Positivity became a phenomenon so strong and with so much momentum, that we have finally seen some change happening on a macro scale in mass media in relation to beauty standards and representation of a larger variety of body types, though we still have a very long way to go.
With #bodypositivity to date having over 12.4 million shares as a hashtag on Instagram, body positivity is big and bold and loud and proud. We have body positivity to thank for the push back in our culture towards the very limited representation we have had historically of any bodies that do not fit the thin, white, cis, able-bodied, clear-skinned, toned, tanned, imagery we have been taught is the pinnacle of beauty. We have Body Positivity to thank for artists, musicians, actors, designers, and creators of all kinds creating work by and for folks of all identities, spreading the message that all bodies are beautiful and welcome and to be seen and admired, respected and valued.
Pros of Body Positivity
Body Positivity as a social movement has been responsible for massive steps in the realm of diversity and acceptance on a global scale. Some of the gorgeous things that Body Positivity has created are:
Increasing diversity of bodies in media
Celebrates and uplifts all bodies as beautiful
Representation of bodies of all shapes, sizes, ages and genders
Public discourse regarding bodies becoming more inclusive
Promotes self-acceptance and self-love for all
Recognition of beauty at all sizes and ages
Recognition of health at all sizes and ages
More safety for all bodies to be seen/shared/celebrated
More inclusive sizing in clothing
More diversity of skin tones in make-up
Celebrates and promotes sharing real, unfiltered/unedited bodies as beautiful
Sites of Contention in Body Positivity
While Body Positivity has done so many beautiful things for how our cultures and societies think and feel about our own bodies and the bodies of others, there are some sites of contention in body positive thinking that cause folks to shy away from subscribing to Body Positivity entirely.
Some areas of tension within Body Positivity are:
Maintains a large focus on how the body looks
Creates pressure to love one’s body at all times which can create shame/feelings of failure when we don’t feel good in our bodies
Becomes co-opted by capitalism when used as a marketing strategy
Doesn’t take into account body dysmorphia or queer/trans experiences
Can imply that intentionally changing one’s own body is inherently not body positive because one should love their body as it is
Doesn’t hold much space for nuance in one’s relationship to their body
Body Neutrality
First popularized by Anne Poirier, Body Neutrality arises in response to Body Positivity as a recognition that magically loving every inch of your body overnight is most often a completely unrealistic goal.
Body Neutrality then, recognizes that even the most confident and self-assured among us don’t love every part of their body every single moment of every single day, but that whether or not we’re feeling like showing off and celebrating our body at any given moment, our bodies are still capable of amazing things, and should still be shown love, compassion, and gratitude.
Body Neutrality recognizes that we’ll have days where we feel crappy in our bodies, and there may be days where we feel a bit better, but our bodies are still worthy regardless of how we feel. They’re not good or bad, they’re just how they are, and they’re ours.
Further, Body Neutrality recognizes one’s right to change and alter their body however they wish, acknowledging that if we don’t like something about our bodies, we have the right to change it. And, we have the right to change it again and again and again, and in all forms and at all stages, it will continue to do the incredible things for us that it does, and it will continue to be worthy.
Body Neutrality creates space for nuance.
For many, Body Positivity, completely loving one’s body exactly as it is, feels so far in the distance that they can’t even see it. When we set such drastic goals for ourselves in relation to where we’re currently at, they can feel so intimidating that we don’t even know where to begin, so we don’t. We shy away from approaching the subject all together, in the recognition that from where we are all we can see is failure in relation to our goals.
If I subscribe to Body Positivity after 40 years of hating my body, I might feel like I’m setting myself up for failure. The moment I have a negative thought about my body, or say something negative about my body out loud, I have failed.
For many, Body Neutrality feels like a safer, more approachable goal in the effort to develop a more loving, intimate relationship with their body. One may not like their body yet, but they can still show it gratitude, compassion and love along the way.
The best way I like to think of this is in relation to arguing with a partner or family member: you may not like your partner or your children when you’re arguing, but you can still show them gratitude, compassion and love.
Pros of Body Neutrality
Body Neutrality comes in response to Body Positivity feeling too far-fetched for folks that have such deep foundations in their negative thoughts and feelings about their bodies.
Some ways that Body Neutrality picks up where Body Positivity drops off are:
Creates space for nuance in relation to one’s body
Feels a lot more realistic/approachable than Body Positivity for many
Can act as a path to Body Positivity
Doesn’t focus on how the body looks as a source of worth
Takes a more neutral stance on one’s relationship to their body: not good or bad, just there
Uplifts what the body does rather than how it looks
Releases pressure to be loud and proud about one’s body
Allows for fluctuations in thoughts/feelings towards one’s body
Acknowledge one's right to change and modification one’s body
Removes focus on beauty
Considers queer and trans experiences
Moves away from capitalistic influence
Sites of Contention in Body Neutrality
Though Body Neutrality feels a lot more approachable than Body Positivity for many, there are some ways it causes tension, or falls short, of Body Positivity:
Doesn’t offer much space for celebration of one’s body
Doesn’t fully account for how affected by capitalism we actually are
Can feel naive in our hyper image-focused culture
Can become less joyous, more numbing, if we don’t have moments where we do allow ourselves to feel good
Your relationship to your body is unique and complex, and constantly evolving. There is no right way, or better way, to cultivate compassion and love for your body, there is only the way that works for you.
Reflecting
Notice how you feel in your body while reading about Body Positivity and Body Neutrality.
Some questions to ask yourself might be:
What does a more celebratory relationship to how my body looks feel like?
What are some ways that Body Positivity is useful for me?
What does a more neutral perspective on my body feel like?
What are some ways Body Neutrality is useful for me?
What are some of the things I like about my body?
What are some of the things my body can do?
How can I show my body more gratitude, compassion, and love?
If you’re struggling with finding pathways to compassion and gratitude for your body, or if you’re noticing how your relationship to your body might be affecting your relationships and/or your sexuality, the practitioners at Good Vibes Clinic are well equipped to support you in your journey.
Book a free Intro Call here to get curious about how you can develop a more loving relationship to your unique body.