If you’ve ever struggled with low desire, you’re not alone. It’s a common experience, and the world is filled with advice on how to “fix” it. But what if we’re asking the wrong question? Instead of focusing on how to increase desire, consider this: how can you make the experience itself more pleasurable? This year, let’s shift our mindset and make pleasure the focal point of our intimate lives.

Let’s be real, for people with vulvas, the holiday season and summer in general, can quite easily throw our bodies out of whack. Excess sugar, more alcohol, less sleep, more ocean time, more sweat, less routine, longer days with more engagements, less time; all of these things can contribute to throwing off our vulvar health.